hard to breathe

May 24, 2011 · 2 comments

“Hey, it’s J from school. P threw up all over himself”

Deep breath. “Is he okay? I’m on my way!”

I frantically stacked up my paperwork, turned off the computer screen and grabbed my bag.  Whatever accomplishment filled work zone I had been in was certainly gone now.


I walked quickly through the school doors, eyes set on getting a glimpse of my sweet, sick little boy. At first glance as I approached I wondered where he was, and what was wrong with the bigger kid in the office.  A couple of steps closer and I realized that bigger kid was my baby. Briefly I wondered when that had happened.


He coughed hard enough to throw up.  Worry filled me as I pasted a smile on my face and took him home. Set up under a blanket with a bowl in his lap, I called the doctor.  He’s been coughing on and off for months. My slight concerns about a cold lasting too long were turning into a slight panic.  An appointment was made.  We waited.


It was the first real playdate/birthday party he had been invited to.  One that included McDonalds, Miniature golf and ice cream. I was thrilled when he said he wanted to go, worried he would be too shy.  He was vibrating with excitement this morning: “I just can’t wait until after school!” We were going to send him anyway, knowing that the throwing up was a direct result of the coughing. Then, I touched his forehead and my heart sank.


No party, no school the next day.  Sad little boy, pained mama.


Watching him cough, his little body just hurting, and knowing there wasn’t anything I could do was devastating me.  I started looking at websites about it possibly being asthma and not just another cough and cold.


Turns out, there are many things a mom doesn’t want to be right about.


Possible strep throat.

High dose steroids, then lower dose, plus inhaler on hand at all times.

Possible antibiotics.


I know it could be worse (so, so much worse), but it’s bad enough.  The fear of something happening and him being unable to breathe feels like a sucker punch to the stomach. I’ve been trying to hold in the tears, but I just feel so bad for my little dude.  He’s so good and sweet and to be worried about something like this just hurts my heart.


He takes up the whole bed (KING SIZE!). Every single time he coughs, I startle.  Is this the one that is going to hurt the most? Is this the fit that will cause us to need yet more blankets and another set of sheets and pillowcases?


Fairly certain this mama won’t be getting much sleep tonight.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

amanda May 24, 2011 at 11:56 pm

Oh, I have been thinking of you all all day! So, so sorry. I know exactly what you mean about “bad but not bad.”

Hoping this passes very quickly!



Dawn May 25, 2011 at 11:30 pm

Thanks, love!!


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