“Hey, it’s J from school. P threw up all over himself”
Deep breath. “Is he okay? I’m on my way!”
I frantically stacked up my paperwork, turned off the computer screen and grabbed my bag. Whatever accomplishment filled work zone I had been in was certainly gone now.
*****
I walked quickly through the school doors, eyes set on getting a glimpse of my sweet, sick little boy. At first glance as I approached I wondered where he was, and what was wrong with the bigger kid in the office. A couple of steps closer and I realized that bigger kid was my baby. Briefly I wondered when that had happened.
*****
He coughed hard enough to throw up. Worry filled me as I pasted a smile on my face and took him home. Set up under a blanket with a bowl in his lap, I called the doctor. He’s been coughing on and off for months. My slight concerns about a cold lasting too long were turning into a slight panic. An appointment was made. We waited.
*****
It was the first real playdate/birthday party he had been invited to. One that included McDonalds, Miniature golf and ice cream. I was thrilled when he said he wanted to go, worried he would be too shy. He was vibrating with excitement this morning: “I just can’t wait until after school!” We were going to send him anyway, knowing that the throwing up was a direct result of the coughing. Then, I touched his forehead and my heart sank.
101.2
No party, no school the next day. Sad little boy, pained mama.
******
Watching him cough, his little body just hurting, and knowing there wasn’t anything I could do was devastating me. I started looking at websites about it possibly being asthma and not just another cough and cold.
******
Turns out, there are many things a mom doesn’t want to be right about.
Asthma.
Possible strep throat.
High dose steroids, then lower dose, plus inhaler on hand at all times.
Possible antibiotics.
*******
I know it could be worse (so, so much worse), but it’s bad enough. The fear of something happening and him being unable to breathe feels like a sucker punch to the stomach. I’ve been trying to hold in the tears, but I just feel so bad for my little dude. He’s so good and sweet and to be worried about something like this just hurts my heart.
******
He takes up the whole bed (KING SIZE!). Every single time he coughs, I startle. Is this the one that is going to hurt the most? Is this the fit that will cause us to need yet more blankets and another set of sheets and pillowcases?
******
Fairly certain this mama won’t be getting much sleep tonight.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, I have been thinking of you all all day! So, so sorry. I know exactly what you mean about “bad but not bad.”
Hoping this passes very quickly!
Xo
Thanks, love!!