I’m having a rough day.
Work woes coupled with cancer woes added to the fact that I can’t help with the boys.
The fact that I can’t roll around and laugh and giggle and tickle my babies is hurting me, but at least I get to watch them do that with their daddy.
The fact that when they yell because they need something, they automatically yell for daddy now, hurts a hell of a lot more than I thought it would. The simple fact that I can’t get my baby the juice he wants or the ketchup he needs or whatever is breaking my heart into a million pieces.
Then there is work – my business, the business that I fell into but took over fully as my own, that has slipped into this long-lasting economic downturn resulting in me having to make some changes. Changes that would be so much easier if *I* could go in and work. If I could work the floor and reduce payroll that way…But I can’t. I’m stuck on my couch for now and then who knows for how long once whatever treatment I have to do starts. I’m praying for a fairy godfather to bestow some cash upon me to keep from bobbing under the water…but until that happens, changes have to be made.
All this to say that I’ve done the ugly cry (made uglier by being sick) a number of times today and it’s been rough.
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