Welcome to my life..my family..my world..unedited.

I was sent home on Friday morning again, after a horrible week of IL-2.
Actually, I don’t remember much of the week…I begged let them drug me up pretty well because of the constant sickness.  I remember seeing the boys and them having to leave because I was entering chill mode; I remember Shine bringing me a Slurpee like the awesome friend she is, and I remember my mom and brother coming. And then my mom and mil came and spent the night.  Pretty sure I thought I was done for at that point.
Anyway, it sucked. I was able to get 6 more treatments, which made Dr. L happy.  (Pretty sure I told him I didn’t like him very much at one point as well) and at the end of June I’ll have another PET scan to see what kind of progress was made (there had to have been some, because I’ll be damned if I went through that for nothing!) There are many variables that will determine what the next plan of action is, so in the meantime, I’m going to heal and rest and enjoy not being in the hospital.
It’s kind of hard to be home because I seem all …

Fell off the blog wagon after Day 2!
Days 3 and 4 got worse each day. I couldn’t eat on Wednesday, which made the treatments even harder, I think. I’ve never been good with a lot of medication, and especially not on an empty stomach. I was nauseous and needed the bathroom a lot. The itching wasn’t too bad, but the stomach issues made everything seem a LOT worse.
I was sent home Friday morning after receiving a total of 9 doses of the IL-2. My doctor was very pleased.  I was really thinking that the recovery was going to be super smooth.
HA!
I’ve been in bed ALL WEEK. What started and continued as exhaustion and nausea, turned into the flu and then a nasty cough later this week. I cannot believe how much I’ve been sleeping!
We spent 4 hours at the ER yesterday to find out that I, indeed, did have a cough. I was prescribed antibiotics and cough meds. This afternoon I called my doctor and told him that I wouldn’t be taking those. I’m so sick of being sick to my stomach.  I need a couple of days of NO meds before I start again on Monday.
Tomorrow is the boys’ …

Ok, so here’s the thing….surgery sucks, and it didn’t go as well as planned or anticipated. I should have guessed when I passed out during pre-op, but alas, I did not. I mean, it’s ok…it will be ok, but not as well as planned. You know when the surgeon is disappointed that you should be, too.
One of my lymph nodes decided to go all rogue and wrap itself around a couple of very important veins/vessels. A specialist was called in to the OR, but he wasn’t crazy about the potential for damage, so it was decided to grab a couple nodes that were in need of removing and close me back up.
The intention now is to go to some sort of medical treatment (drugs) to shrink that jackass node down and maybe go in for it later.
Here’s the thing…I was totally expecting some sort of drugs afterward to make sure we get ALL OF THE CELLS this time. So the only major difference is that I may have to have another surgery (suck!).
Also, the ovary was just fine, so that actually is good news…I got to keep it, plus it doesn’t have any cancer in it…which means …

I keep wanting to write one of those “if something happens to me” letters to my husband and kids. Well, want to is the wrong way to say it…need to maybe.
But I can’t.
I know I’ll be fine, but in the back of my mind I want to be prepared.
Then today, while we were driving home from appointments, I realized that Mike is exactly the guy I want raising my kids, teaching them the important things in life, traveling to places we all dream about. He’s the guy and if, god forbid, something happens, I have absolute faith that he knows what to do. And I told him so.
No letter necessary. (Thank god, because seriously, I couldn’t stop sobbing each time I tried!)
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The outpouring of support for me lately has been amazing. Unbelievable, really. People from all of the US, Canada and other countries are sending love and prayers and good thoughts. At least three churches have me on their prayer lists. It’s crazy and oh so nice.
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My friend Sunshine wrote a beautiful blog post today for/about me. Dammit if she didn’t make me cry!
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My surgery tomorrow is at noon and is supposed to last 3-4 hours.  Looks …

I FINALLY heard from the scheduler and I’m scheduled for March 29th to have my surgery to remove the lymph nodes and right ovary.
Other than that, I have no details. I have a pre-op appointment with the surgeon on the 28th, so I’ll find out more details then.  I have no idea right now if it’s in-patient or out (although I think in since it’s at the main hospital). I don’t know the recovery time, what to expect or anything like that.
What I DO know is that I am very relieved to have an actual date to have this stuff taken out of me.  Just knowing it’s in me has been causing ridiculous amounts of stress and anxiety.
In the next 3 weeks I’ll be getting ready. I have a to-do list a mile long – things for the house, things for the office, things for me.  Mike will be taking a little over a week off, and my mom and his mom are at the ready to help with the boys. I’m very thankful.
Now, if we could just get this “yucky stuff” as the boys know it out of me so we can work on moving ahead. Phew.