Welcome to my life..my family..my world..unedited.

IL-2 Day One
Mike and I dropped off the boys at school and came right to the hospital. Down in the basement (which always makes me laugh, but the reasons are good – you wouldn’t want radiology and MRIs on the main floor!) I was called back fairly quickly, had my procedure explained and then they got right to it. It was nice to be early for a change. Of course, it didn’t help me get admitted any faster…
The central line in my neck was uncomfortable, but not painful. The worst part was the pinch and burn of the numbing drugs. 10 minutes later, I was told I could get dressed and go up to admitting. The nurse at that point had the sense of humor of a snail and was very serious about warning us not to leave the hospital and to never wander around aimlessly. Oy. Luckily that was our last interaction with her!
Admitting had no room for me, so we set out to wait. We had lunch, we napped, we wandered the halls, we waited. And then we waited more. Finally, at almost 3, we were sent upstairs. Sadly, no private room for me, BUT the person …

I keep wanting to write one of those “if something happens to me” letters to my husband and kids. Well, want to is the wrong way to say it…need to maybe.
But I can’t.
I know I’ll be fine, but in the back of my mind I want to be prepared.
Then today, while we were driving home from appointments, I realized that Mike is exactly the guy I want raising my kids, teaching them the important things in life, traveling to places we all dream about. He’s the guy and if, god forbid, something happens, I have absolute faith that he knows what to do. And I told him so.
No letter necessary. (Thank god, because seriously, I couldn’t stop sobbing each time I tried!)
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The outpouring of support for me lately has been amazing. Unbelievable, really. People from all of the US, Canada and other countries are sending love and prayers and good thoughts. At least three churches have me on their prayer lists. It’s crazy and oh so nice.
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My friend Sunshine wrote a beautiful blog post today for/about me. Dammit if she didn’t make me cry!
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My surgery tomorrow is at noon and is supposed to last 3-4 hours.  Looks …

After numerous phone calls and countless hours WAITING and WAITING for a return phone call from the message that was left by my oncologist, I FINALLY heard back, not once, but twice tonight.
It turns out that the CT scan I had on Monday showed not only the [supposed] ovarian cyst still there, but also about 5 enlarged lymph nodes.  They are all in one area of the lower abdomen, so that’s “good” news. Lungs, heart, rest of torso all looked good on the scan.
What does it mean, you ask? Well, it means a needle biopsy in the next couple of weeks to see what little secrets the lymph nodes that are swollen are keeping.  Could be melanoma again, could be…well, something else. If it’s melanoma, then surgery is in my near future (again). And we go from there.  I’m certainly not ready to start looking beyond the biopsy.  I know what’s out there, but I am not crossing that bridge before we get to it, thank you very much.
I also have a MRI scheduled for Wednesday – they’re gonna check out my brain (and make sure it’s still there, I guess). I don’t mind the MRI so much, especially since …

I posted more details at my melanoma site, but the basics are that Dr. L doesn’t know what is causing my pain and is sending me for a CT on Monday to figure it out. Could be another ovarian cyst, could be scar tissue, could be….well, who knows. We’ll just wait to see.
Now, if someone could hurry up and make decent tasting contrast, I’d be golden.
 

I’m on the Curvy Girl Guide today!!!  Come read my post and then stick around and read great posts from fabulous women!!