I’ve been trying to “live life” – trying to spend more time living for the moment instead of worrying so much about the everyday things like cleaning and such.
Case in point, on Saturday, I went golfing with a couple of neighbors. There was/is a ton of stuff to do around the house – redoing the kitchen and the boys’ rooms has resulted in the cleaning out of rooms, closets and cupboards – which means stuff gets moved from one place to another in the meantime. Which results in a gigantic mess EVERYWHERE. Add in everyday living and you get a disaster of epic proportions. I went golfing anyway – and I had a really good time. After, a bunch of us went to dinner, which was also a lot of fun. But nothing got done.
I can’t clean every free moment I have. I can’t organize every free moment I have. Because I have these little things called kids. And a husband. And a dog. And a job. So my house is a literal disaster. Sure, you can say, oh, I’m sure it’s not THAT bad! Honestly though, it is. And I’m overwhelmed. We’re trying to get things done before the …
Everyday life vs. Living Life
Oh the waiting
I told my melanoma story at least 5 times over the weekend at my mom’s surprise birthday party…people who care about me and wanted more details, more answers. By the last time, talking to my Godmother who has known and loved me my entire life, my stomach started to hurt.
It’s probably dumb, but it’s like the more people in real life that know, the more real, the more serious it seems. (not that I was thinking it wasn’t serious, just that I was able to kind of fool myself a little more when everyone wasn’t looking at me with THAT look. You know, the one of fear, sadness, horror?)
Here’s the thing…I’m fighting this melanoma … This cancer. I’m letting one of the nation’s top melanoma centers take care of me, trusting my doctors and my gut. And I will prevail. Yes, it might come back. But I’ll get regular skin checks and scans and if it does, I’ll fight it again.
There are three guys in my life that I’m not done with yet; I have too much love to give, too many lessons to teach (and learn) and way too many hugs left in me to be …
