I’m having a blah day today. Like a wave, it washed over me and dragged me under this morning and hasn’t let go. That’s not to say I haven’t been involved in life today – there was a soccer game and lunch and garage cleaning and of course, football watching. But I felt a little underwater…my leg was bothering me and then a migraine started to take hold.
Because in the back of my mind, since it wasn’t a busy day, or maybe because I had strange dreams or the freaking tide came in or because it was the 8th year anniversary of 9/11 or whatever, was the fact that I have cancer. The Big C. That word that is like bile; that no one ever wants to say out loud for fear that it will somehow become contagious. I. Have. Cancer.
What. The. Fuck. (sorry, Nic)
You know what it is? The waiting. Having to wait until the 29th to have this next surgery and then something like 3-4 weeks after that to start drug treatment? That is what sucks. That is what takes my breath away and makes a lump form in my throat. I’m not scared of …
Sep 12 2009
