Oh, my little Matthew (or not so little any more I suppose), my first born, my little man. The Shoo.
You are so smart and have such an amazing memory and thought processes; you love to read and you love your alone time almost as much as you love playing with your younger brother. You get frustrated when you can’t do something (you are SO much like me). You talk constantly and have no filters – you say what you think and feel and couldn’t keep a secret to save your life (your GramBo and I are so envious of your ability to say anything – you’ll understand as you get older).
You are still in love with your Elly, though I see you leaving her behind more and more often and it’s just one more thing to prove that you’re growing up too fast.
You go in spurts, where you are perfectly helpful and polite and happy and then switch to to frustrated and angry and what I would call a brat. You fight against having a schedule but you need one more than anything. Left alone, you can’t make decisions or second guess your decisions …
Seven
The Eve of 6
I don’t normally write letters to my kids here…but for some reason tonight, I kind of feel for it, so here it is.
My dear, sweet Matthew,
It’s hard to believe that tomorrow you are going to be 6 years old. I so vividly remember being pregnant with you, feeling you move and falling in love with you before I ever saw your face. You are an amazing little boy – absurdly smart, silly, sensitive and loving. You’ve grown so much in the last year – the change from 5 to 6 has been filled with amazing discoveries, including you discovering your independence more than ever (your dad and I are totally loving you being able to turn on the tv, the playstation and being able to make your own breakfast!!). You constantly surprise me by repeating words and facts that you seem to absorb like a sponge. Your ability to read is fantastic (I always hoped for my kids to love to read like I do); your ability to love and be tender with your brother is even better. Of course, you’re not perfect…you still get whiny when you’re exhausted, you still have issues with the bathroom, and you mimic me …
Overflow
I can’t seem to turn if off lately. I’m having trouble sleeping, and then when I do fall asleep, I sleep like the dead and can’t wake up. Let’s dive right in, shall we?
First, my business. I don’t really get it, but we’re super busy and have no cash. There is a serious cash-flow problem in my office and I don’t quite know what to attribute it to. According to Wall Street, we’re in a recession, but I’m in Michigan, so we’re way ahead of the curve on that one. That said, we’re busy. So busy, in fact, that we need more help, but I can’t afford to add anyone to the payroll. I can say all day that it’s old debt from when we lost an insurance company for a year and bought out of our franchise (and it is), and I can complain about the absurdly, ridiculously, atrocious cost of employee health care (yikes!), and I can whine about the cost of goods going up and the reimbursement from insurance companies going down (and down and down…). But alas, that doesn’t pay my bills. And bills I have. Up the wazoo. And I …
