Dr. L mentioned that once the surgery is done, we’ll talk about additional treatment possibilities. Last time the risks and side effects of interferon outweighed the possible benefits, but this time we might need to do something.  Right now I don’t know if that means chemo or radiation or some other drug…I’m taking it one step at a time. Surgery first and then we’ll talk about that stuff.

Now I wait for the call from the surgeon to find out when.

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In more light-hearted news, my kids are finally starting to understand the extent of my awesomeness.

The other day, Matt wanted to know how many minutes are in a year. Instead of grabbing my phone and using the calculator app, it occurred to me that I could let them know in SONG! I got into my iPod, flicked through a few menus and turned this on.

The best part is that I’ve never even seen Rent, but I love this song and was totally able to use it to impress the crap out of my kids.

To Mike’s dismay, the boys have been singing it tonight and Matt wants it on his iPod. HA!

One of the things that kept him going was a picture of a musician who had a tattoo of the word Strength on his partially shaved head.  The picture was taken by a Pulitzer Prize winning photographer named John Kaplan.  The picture my cousin had on his wall was printed from the internet, so not very good quality.  His brother, knowing how important that photo was, sent an email to the photographer.  It was coincidental, but he, too, was fighting cancer. After exchanging emails, John decided he would not only get a print for my cousin, but he would come to Detroit and deliver it personally.

People who suffer and survive and fight cancer (and other diseases) know that once you find something to hold on to; a bright spot that helps you continue to fight, you don’t let it go. This picture was my cousin’s.

Not only did John show up on Ryan’s doorstep, he brought the rockstar with him to deliver a giant framed photograph.  The video of it is inspiring, funny and downright awesome.

John Kaplan documented his journey with Lymphoma with photographs and video and created a documentary to show people a small glimpse into fighting cancer.  It’s winning awards all over the place and he’s giving away 10,000 copies for free.

For anyone who has been touched by cancer, it’s a great short film of what it’s like to be diagnosed, what treatment can be like, and the emotions involved.

Go here and order one – for yourself or for someone you love.  And once you see it, let me know what you thought (and tell me how awesome my cousins are!)

EDITED: Here’s the link to the picture!

Around here, the sun is finally making a regular appearance (well, except for today which is cloudy and rainy…) and people are starting to spend more time outside.  In the past 2 days, I’ve overheard no less than 5 people talking about how they got burned or got a nice start on their tan recently. A year ago, I would have been right there with them, pulling up my pant legs and sleeves to make more of my self accessible to the sun’s warming rays; lifting my face and closing my eyes in peace.

Not anymore.

As you probably already know, I was diagnosed with melanoma on July 13, 2009.  (You can catch up with the whole story here ).  I now have to make a concentrated effort to keep out of the sun I once adored, and make sure I’m slathered with sunscreen when I’m in it. I’ve had a hard time, honestly, with the sunscreen.  I’m using a lotion with some built in, but I know it’s not enough.  I am still on the search for the perfect sunscreen – one that I can wear year round without smelling like the beach or being greasy like a piece of (pale) bacon.

But even though it’s a pain in the ass to have to remember to put on sunscreen (hey, it takes awhile to break 30+ years of habit of not wearing it, yo!), I will.  My scars and still partially numb leg, plus the fun insta-swelling I get sometimes (lymphedema) is a constant reminder that I would like to avoid further surgery and live a long, cancer-free life.

So do yourself (and me) a favor and get yourself checked out.  If you aren’t sure if something on your body looks right or wrong, please go to your doctor / dermatologist and get it checked out.  Don’t think it won’t happen to you, because it can.

Skincancer.org is a fabulous resource – lots of great articles and information available there.  Throughout the month, I’ll be posting skin cancer related information here, so please stop back by. Also, if you’ve been affected by skin cancer in any way and want to share your story, I’d love to publish you on my other website (Defying Melanoma), so please email me or leave a comment.

Anyway.. Dr. C. checked me out, asked how I was doing, poked and prodded - the usual.  I don’t have many complaints – you know, aside from the numbness, tingling, electrical pulses, general pain that comes and goes – but they were more concerned with my scars. Oddly, they don’t bother me.  The boys ask how my scars are here and there; they’re calming down and smoothing out as the days pass (the scars, not the boys, hehe).

Dr. C. really took his time to let me know that they would continue to fade and be less pink and more skin tone as time passes.  Which is fine, don’t get me wrong, but scars have never bothered me.  I have scars on my knees, my hands, assorted other places and they’ve never bothered me; these are no different, even though they are big. I’m much more bothered by the sudden breath-taking pain and electrical pulses running through my leg; the numb areas that seem to still itch.  None of which is concerning to Dr. C. That will go away, and hopefully all of the numbness will go away within 18 months of the surgery.

I left the Cancer Center feeling pretty good. I know what to watch for, I know I need to wear my stocking when I’m going to over-do it, I know that the twinges mean I’m healing.  I know that I am lucky every day – and those scars? Well, they remind me of that.