Welcome to my life..my family..my world..unedited.

My oncologist was lovely enough to call in a couple of prescriptions for some pain relief. In honor of there now (well as of tomorrow) being 8 more days until surgery, I give you:

I got the dreaded phone call today. The melanoma is back – it’s in the lymph nodes they took biopsies of and in my right ovary. They’re going to do surgery to remove those nodes and the ovary (turns out that cyst from the fall might not have been just an innocent cyst after all).  I’ve been assured that it’s all still in one area, but warned that the nodes are deeper this time, so a little more extensive of a surgery may be necessary. Unfortunately, removing more lymph nodes increases the chance of the lymphedema (excessive swelling) in my leg, so that will suck, but I can live with it.
Dr. L mentioned that once the surgery is done, we’ll talk about additional treatment possibilities. Last time the risks and side effects of interferon outweighed the possible benefits, but this time we might need to do something.  Right now I don’t know if that means chemo or radiation or some other drug…I’m taking it one step at a time. Surgery first and then we’ll talk about that stuff.
Now I wait for the call from the surgeon to find out when.
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In more light-hearted news, my kids are finally starting to understand …

My cousin is going on 3 years of clean scans following his brain tumor removal. It was by far the longest day in our family’s life, waiting for the surgeon to come out and speak to us and let us know how he did.  He’s been on chemo ever since, as well as anti-seizure meds. He is a true survivor.
One of the things that kept him going was a picture of a musician who had a tattoo of the word Strength on his partially shaved head.  The picture was taken by a Pulitzer Prize winning photographer named John Kaplan.  The picture my cousin had on his wall was printed from the internet, so not very good quality.  His brother, knowing how important that photo was, sent an email to the photographer.  It was coincidental, but he, too, was fighting cancer. After exchanging emails, John decided he would not only get a print for my cousin, but he would come to Detroit and deliver it personally.
People who suffer and survive and fight cancer (and other diseases) know that once you find something to hold on to; a bright spot that helps you continue to fight, you don’t let it go. This …

Around here, the sun is finally making a regular appearance (well, except for today which is cloudy and rainy…) and people are starting to spend more time outside.  In the past 2 days, I’ve overheard no less than 5 people talking about how they got burned or got a nice start on their tan recently. A year ago, I would have been right there with them, pulling up my pant legs and sleeves to make more of my self accessible to the sun’s warming rays; lifting my face and closing my eyes in peace.
Not anymore.
As you probably already know, I was diagnosed with melanoma on July 13, 2009.  (You can catch up with the whole story here ).  I now have to make a concentrated effort to keep out of the sun I once adored, and make sure I’m slathered with sunscreen when I’m in it. I’ve had a hard time, honestly, with the sunscreen.  I’m using a lotion with some built in, but I know it’s not enough.  I am still on the search for the perfect sunscreen – one that I can wear year round without smelling like the beach or being greasy like …

I had my follow-up appointment with my surgeon today. (well, first I had a visit with another doctor and a med student, but he was pleasant and had a wicked cool accent – and he was young, so he was concerned for my modesty – HAHA!).
Anyway.. Dr. C. checked me out, asked how I was doing, poked and prodded - the usual.  I don’t have many complaints – you know, aside from the numbness, tingling, electrical pulses, general pain that comes and goes – but they were more concerned with my scars. Oddly, they don’t bother me.  The boys ask how my scars are here and there; they’re calming down and smoothing out as the days pass (the scars, not the boys, hehe).
Dr. C. really took his time to let me know that they would continue to fade and be less pink and more skin tone as time passes.  Which is fine, don’t get me wrong, but scars have never bothered me.  I have scars on my knees, my hands, assorted other places and they’ve never bothered me; these are no different, even though they are big. I’m much more bothered by the sudden breath-taking pain and electrical pulses running through my …