Days 3 and 4 got worse each day. I couldn’t eat on Wednesday, which made the treatments even harder, I think. I’ve never been good with a lot of medication, and especially not on an empty stomach. I was nauseous and needed the bathroom a lot. The itching wasn’t too bad, but the stomach issues made everything seem a LOT worse.

I was sent home Friday morning after receiving a total of 9 doses of the IL-2. My doctor was very pleased.  I was really thinking that the recovery was going to be super smooth.

HA!

I’ve been in bed ALL WEEK. What started and continued as exhaustion and nausea, turned into the flu and then a nasty cough later this week. I cannot believe how much I’ve been sleeping!

We spent 4 hours at the ER yesterday to find out that I, indeed, did have a cough. I was prescribed antibiotics and cough meds. This afternoon I called my doctor and told him that I wouldn’t be taking those. I’m so sick of being sick to my stomach.  I need a couple of days of NO meds before I start again on Monday.

Tomorrow is the boys’ opening day for baseball and I fully intend on being there, at least for their games.

Maybe my expectations were way too high, so the week I’m home after the next dose, I’m PLANNING on being in bed the whole week. That way, if I’m better, we’ll all be pleasantly surprised.

Mike has been continuously amazing and giving and selfless. He’s running himself ragged and it breaks my heart (even though I know it’s ok, it still upsets me).  Our moms have been wonderful, especially with helping with the boys and cleaning up the house for us.  Between them and all of the text, dms, fb messages and emails, we are so very thankful.

The boys are doing well – they are understanding and so good with this whole thing. I’ll miss them terribly again next week, but I know they’re in the right hands with their dad.

Now….to get through the next two days without dread or sickness….

I had my 4th dose of the IL-2 this afternoon at 4 o’clock. No major reactions, but we’re keeping pretty up on the pre-meds to avoid things like headaches and nausea. I’ve been feeling fairly tired and beat up for the past couple of hours. My central line is sore because she just changed my bandages and I am in need of shower and clothes change, but might as well wait until the morning now.

I’m pleased with my progress so far and very glad the worst symptoms haven’t shown up – fingers, toes and eyes crossed that they don’t and I make it through this week with as many treatments as possible.

For those of you that don’t know, May is Melanoma Awareness Month. The market isn’t saturated with pink ribbons and yet it is a leading death-causing cancer. I’ll do a post at Defying and here soon, but just a quick reminder that no tan is a safe tan unless it comes from a bottle/spray and please remember that you need sunscreen and need it reapplied often. I hate the idea of someone else going through this.

I’m going to try to get some sleep now, but knowing you guys are out there, sending me messages and tweets and awesome gift boxes makes all of this just a little bit easier and I really appreciate it.

Mike and I dropped off the boys at school and came right to the hospital. Down in the basement (which always makes me laugh, but the reasons are good – you wouldn’t want radiology and MRIs on the main floor!) I was called back fairly quickly, had my procedure explained and then they got right to it. It was nice to be early for a change. Of course, it didn’t help me get admitted any faster…

The central line in my neck was uncomfortable, but not painful. The worst part was the pinch and burn of the numbing drugs. 10 minutes later, I was told I could get dressed and go up to admitting. The nurse at that point had the sense of humor of a snail and was very serious about warning us not to leave the hospital and to never wander around aimlessly. Oy. Luckily that was our last interaction with her!

Admitting had no room for me, so we set out to wait. We had lunch, we napped, we wandered the halls, we waited. And then we waited more. Finally, at almost 3, we were sent upstairs. Sadly, no private room for me, BUT the person that was here left and what arrived was a beautiful 18 year who is on her 6th round of chemo for lymphoma and is laughing and living her life. She’s inspiring and I’m glad they chose my room for her to be in!

My first dose of the IL-2 was fine….for about an hour and a half…then I was struck with a terrible migraine and major chills. A couple of meds, warm blankets and a nap later, I was feeling better.

My blood pressure is holding steady, and my nausea is controlled (in part, thanks to my trusty stash of mini saltines!)

My next round is scheduled for midnight, with pre-meds at 10:30. Hoping the next dose goes as well as this one did, instead of worse. FINGERS CROSSED.

They’re pumping fluids into me and Dr. L warned me that I will balloon up a bit this week. FUN! Seriously, if that is the worst, I will take it!!

Stay tuned for more adventures from Room 125!

Next week I’ll have a PET scan and another MRI as well as blood work to make sure everything is ok to proceed and to set a baseline. Then, the following Monday, I’ll be admitted to the hospital to start treatment. It’s 5 days in, treatment given through IV every 8 hours, then home for a week, then back in one more week. Best case scenario is that this does the trick in shrinking it away, so fingers crossed for that.

The potential side effects freak me out. I know that every patient is different, but we all know that having a “really bad flu” isn’t fun at all. I’m hopeful that the treatment will work, the side effects will be manageable and it won’t overall be too terrible. Good thoughts and prayers always appreciated!

It sounds like I’ll have a private room, which is very important to me – I don’t want to be around other people if I don’t feel good! I’m figuring if I can take my own pillows and blankets and wear my own pjs, it will make things a little easier. I hate the unknown, so not knowing what side effects I will suffer from is disconcerting.

Being away from Mike and the boys for a week will suck but I’d rather be sick in the hospital instead of sick at home. Hopefully it won’t be too bad for them. I will miss them terribly though. In the grand scheme of things, being away from them for 2 weeks really isn’t that big of a deal. I hope they agree.

So that’s the news for now! Later, we get to tell the boys. Wish us luck!!

Mike has been so fabulous through this whole thing. He won’t let me do things, he’s sympathetic to my plight and he’s great with the boys and keeping up on the house and laundry. Of course, that just makes me feel more guilt.

I was chatting with a friend of mine last night who is going through (about to go through) a similar situation fighting cancer and we were both talking about how guilty we feel not pulling our weight around the house and with the kids; how as the breadwinners our husbands have so much on their shoulders and we just want to help.

It’s hard. I feel like since my restrictions have been partially lifted, I should be able to pull a little more weight around here, but sadly, doing much of anything still makes me tired, and worse, more sore.

Tomorrow I’m getting up to take the boys to school and am going to go to work for a little while. A few days ago I thought for a few hours; now I’m thinking an hour or so. Just long enough to chat and grab my mail.

The support I’ve received from online friends and local family has been so wonderful and I am very thankful. I’m sure I’ll need to lean on more people during the days ahead. (yes, I feel guilty about that, too.)

Hopefully, my next post will be less of a whine fest.