Bated Breath

July 12, 2012 · 4 comments

Day four of  big Z and I’m still feeling pretty good.

Of course, I’ve destroyed my back while working on Preston’s room, so there’s that.

Every twinge, every itch, every ache and I’m afraid it’s a side effect rearing its ugly head.

It’s dumb. I’m trying to be aware but not a hypochondriac.

I have a new hooded lightweight jacket that I put on when I leave the house and go to the car. I have to wear it in the car, too, since the sun comes in through the windows.

Every time I have an itch, I’m afraid it is the rash.

Every time the sun feels warm on my skin, even though I have sunscreen on x2, I’m afraid it’s the burn.

Every time my stomach tightens, I’m afraid it’s the nausea. 

A yawn? Must be the fatigue. 

Or it could be regular old me. Working my ass off trying to get things done before the side effects kick in.

BUT! I’ve created a new game!! I’m a Shadow Ninja! I run from shadowed area to shadowed area to avoid getting the sun on my skin. See, I can keep active and safe at the same time! 🙂


{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

shine July 12, 2012 at 11:11 pm

If it’s not one thing it’s another! Take it easy this weekend and rest your back lady! You were certainly on a roll!

I think you will always have that cautious, wondering feeling with anything, but hopefully it will lessen over time and your shadow ninja skills will become so second nature, you’ll think of it less and less. I’d like to say in time you will feel more yourself, however you are in a way forever changed. I’d like to say you are a different version of yourself…a hard core, battle version of yourself with mad ninja skillz and that you will come out the other side of this with cancer’s bloody decapitated head in your hand and a big freaking sword in the other. Gross visual, I know, but I also know how strong you are. Being strong and courageous does not mean you don’t feel fear…it just means you move past it to live your life every day. I see you do that every day and I am so very proud of you and proud to call you friend. Love and hugs!


Sarah July 13, 2012 at 12:15 am

Shadow Ninja? Waaaaait! I had that job first! I do it most during recess duty. The California sun, it keels me!


karengreeners July 14, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Wishing you gentle days ahead.


alejna July 17, 2012 at 10:01 am

Shadow Ninja is an excellent title. Here’s hoping you continue to dodge those side-effects. (If they can’t find you, you’re safe, right?)


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