Thoughts while walking

January 16, 2012 · 2 comments

I spent the morning at Starbucks, taking up a table, sipping a mocha and ice water and thinking.  I did some writing, some reading and a little more writing.  I’m trying to figure out some serious work issues and I needed the time to find my brain and heart somewhere in there. I didn’t come up with all of the answers, but I managed to come up with a plan and will work more to that tomorrow.  I’m honestly not sure where it’s all going to end, but I definitely needed the time today to think.

Once I felt I had over-stayed my welcome at the Bux, (also my coffee was gone), I headed to one of my favorite parks in Ann Arbor. The weather was on my side – overcast, but near 40 degrees, so not too terrible.  I parked, felt my shoulders relax and walked. And walked some more.  {I took a bunch of pictures, but they’re on my phone, so will have to wait until the morrow to post those}

And I had some thoughts while I walked…

When did I stop believing in myself? When did I stop doing things for me? For joy? For living? Where did I lose my confidence??

When did I stop splashing in puddles and start worrying about getting wet? When did I become so afraid? When did I get scared of being lost and losing control? When did I forget how to just live?
When did I get so flipping lazy?! Walk the dog! Go to the park! Take pictures! Take the fork in the road!
When did I stop breathing?
When did we stop smiling and saying hi to people we pass?

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

shine January 17, 2012 at 10:14 pm

I think we lose ourselves from time to time when go into survival mode and enter into territory that overwhelms us. Just like when we had our babies and they, instead of ourselves, became the center of the universe. For what seems an eternity, they need us, a lot. And then they still need us, but not as much or in different non-immediate ways. It’s not hard to prioritize yourself last or get caught up in illness or “I’ll get this settled and then I’ll ____.” It’s easy to be go, go, go and forget to enjoy a quiet cup of coffee…because there is so little quiet that comes organically, or to ponder what it is you want to be when you grow up…because you’re juggling within your brain grocery list, kids schedule, homework, housework and other things.

So you did what you needed to do. You threw up a big STOP sign, carved out some quiet time for yourself so you could do those things you need to do to find yourself again. Ponder the big questions, change your mind, take a walk.

I’ve learned recently how important it is to me to have some quiet time to myself…to do whatever. It keeps me sane. The more frequent these spots of quiet time, the more focused, the better in control, the more balanced I feel. It helps me be a better mom and a better wife too, so it’s in everyone’s best interest I get these times to myself, so don’t feel guilty when you do it!

So glad you had some time to sort things out!

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Vina December 24, 2016 at 3:14 pm

Ik vind het heerlijk om als ontspanning een rondje te gaan hardlopen maar ook de woensdag en donderdag teninstraining helpen me om te ontspannnen. En ja anders, lig ik languit onder mijn deken in bed met een filmpje en iets lekkers te snacken en drinken

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