being mom

I’ve been very lucky with my work and how it affects my kids and my mothering. While owning my own business is not simple and is time consuming in so many ways, it has afforded me the luxury of being the best mix of stay at home, work at home and work out of the home mom I can be.

Last week, one of my employees quit rather abruptly (via text!) and since we were already short one part timer, I was the one who had to step up and work “the floor”. It made for a very long week – especially since Matt had his Fairy Tale Ball on Friday and I still had to finish his costume.

Now, I’m not whining – I know a week or two or working in the office until 6 or 7 at night is nothing compared to the moms (and dads) who do it 365, but for our lifestyle and the way things work around here? It’s been rough on me.

When I’m at work, I’m at work – fully there and on task. Whether I’m in the background (in my office) paying bills, doing administrative stuff or whether I’m pulling files, checking on insurance or helping patients, I am there.

And I try to be the same way when I am home. Unfortunately, the cross-over is worse that way – I tend to think of work stuff that I need to do or find myself actually working while I am at home. I am fairly successful in doing things after the boys go to bed, but not every single time and of course, I feel guilty about it.

I’m juggling a lot of balls. I do really like my office and my job; I absolutely adore the fact that I have the ability to go on field trips, help in the classroom and run errands when I need or want to. Once I add in all of my brilliant ideas, things to do at home, things to do at work, things to do with the kids, chores, etc, I’m not sure how to get it all done. Mike is fantastic and really steps up to the plate when I need him, but so much is stuff I need to do for myself.

Just as an example, here are the things I need to do as soon as I can:
Build a display case for sunglasses (office)
Finish organizing the frame cases (1/2 done) (office)
Plant the rest of the veggies in containers (home)
Write up the list of fundraising ideas for PTO/School
Modify the logo for the school t-shirts
Attempt to make t-shirts (which also includes learning the screen printer, fixing the logo, buying supplies, etc)
Set up store front for school tees as well as website
Update Facebook, twitter, blog (office)
Take photos of stuff to be sold on Ebay (office project started months ago)
Blog
Edit & Organize pictures
Scan kids’ school stuff and get rid of papers
Tackle the mountain of laundry
Clean out the garage
Clean out the basement
Get family room carpet replaced
Pull weeds, re-mulch, spring lawn work
Clean out under the deck
wash the windows

Oh, hell, there aren’t enough hours in the freaking day.

The boys are off for the summer in a few weeks (20 some odd days), and I want to be able to enjoy time with them; to be able to be fully present and enjoy the little moments with them.

But I can’t do it with so many tasks hanging over my head. I know, I know, one step at a time, but in the meantime the laundry piles higher, the kids rooms are disaster areas, the dog can’t stop shedding, and there are still only 24 hours in each day.

This week, as an added hurdle, Preston is sick. I am so grateful for my mom, who was able to come and hang out with him today so I could work and run a couple of errands. Tomorrow, I have plans to go out to lunch with my mom and brother to celebrate a belated Mother’s Day (FYI, as awesome as my day was, my mom’s was lonely since her mom passed years ago and I have my own kids to celebrate with – no guilt there or anything!)

I can’t remember the last time my mom, brother and I did something just the three of us, so when P spiked another 100° fever this afternoon, invoking the “no school for 24 hrs” rule, I freaked out a little. All at once, I wasn’t going to be able to work, wasn’t going to be able to take mom to lunch, wasn’t going to be able to get anything done. Worse, I absolutely have to work on Wednesday, so I was trying to think ahead in case P is sick still on Wednesday. Who would watch him if my MIL came tomorrow? Would my mom come? Would I have to send him to school anyway? Then when would we do Mother’s Day with my mom?

Happily, this time it all worked out – Mike’s mom is coming to hang with P, Matt goes to school, I go to lunch (as well as show my mom how to use iTunes and sync her iphone!). My brother and I get to surprise her with a grill and I can get some work done in the afternoon.

Now, for the rest of the list…..

Tagged as: holy freaking to do list, motherhood, need more than 24 hours, no time