It’s 65 and blue skies today….sunny and gorgeous. The kind of day where the breezes caress rather than sting; where the sky smiles with clarity that has been missing for months.

This is the kind of day that, exactly one year ago, I would have been camped in the sunshine. Feeling the warmth and slowly adding color to my winter-pale skin.

Today I stick to the shadows. I briefly felt the warmth of the sun on my skin and immediately felt guilty. There’s sunscreen in my lotion, but I know it’s not enough.  From now on, I need to cover up with something – clothes or sunscreen.

I’m sure it probably sounds silly, but that little bit of springtime color has been part of me for my whole life. I know I can still lift my face to the sun and feel the warmth on my arms and feet, but it’s just not the same anymore.  Now my basking will be coated in something slightly sticky and slightly smelly.

Cancer sucks.