So.

Here’s the thing.

I want something more. I want to BE something more. I want to be more involved, but I have no idea how.  (And I’m not talking about my marriage or my family or my boys…I’m talking about me and this online, social media world)

Take for example, my office…

I wanted to get the office online, so I built a website.  I think it’s pretty decent.  I made it so patients could email us and even download their paperwork from there to save themselves time.  I wanted to put us on Facebook (because really, who isn’t on there these days?), so I did….but now I don’t know how to keep up with it, how to get people to it, how to USE it.  Same with Twitter.   I wanted to start emailing my patients newsletters, appointment reminders, special sales, only to find out that my staff has been skipping entering email addresses.  I did create a survey that can be completed online, and it has been getting some response, but how do I get more?

Take for example my Melanoma…

I wanted to create a place to share my stories and the stories of others – kind of a support system for people with similar experiences, as well as resources and other ideas.  So I created Defying Melanoma  - but it’s only MY story, and my resources are the same as everyone else.  How do I make it stand out? How do I get people to share their stories? How do I make it a community?

I wanted to go to Blissdom, but with my business being in such shambles and my not having been paid in awhile, the only way I could’ve gone was by winning a trip (which I didn’t).  I know that there are other ways to learn, but I have no clue where to start, so I really felt like that conference would have been the opening that I needed…not only to meet people, but to learn how people do things.  I’ve never met anyone who I know online, and it’s times like these – when so many are together, or when they are working together on websites and writing together, that I feel totally left out.

You can certainly say it’s my fault – I’m not assertive with people and I totally suck at small talk.  I don’t ask for what I want, mostly because I am not really sure what that is. I don’t have much of a following here, so it’s not like I can use this place as a starting point. I’m not a fabulous writer – I just write what I think – I’m not an amazing photographer or web designer or social media expert. I want what everyone wants…to be liked and accepted and admired.  There is no one thing I am awesome at.  I have a ton of skills that get me by, but nothing that sets me apart. I’m a decent cook, I take fairly good photos, I know a lot of useless facts, I can build a decent website, I have some technological skills, I can sew and scrapbook; I can clean and be snarky.  I have common sense.  But, master of nothing.

I’m not even sure where this whole “poor me” thing came from today…I was just cleaning and hanging out with the boys and checking twitter…

I’m not looking for anyone to blow smoke up my ass or anything…I’m a good person, smart, halfway decent looking, funny…I just feel like I’m being left behind in this whole social media world we live in.