Listen and live

The lovely Amanda over at Tumble Dry writes so well, so perfectly, that her posts about her family generally get me crying (in such a good way!).  Today she did it again, but this time, it was a reminder to all of us.  Please go read the whole post (and the rest of her blog if you’ve never been!).

Bottom line is that she is smart and wants us all to listen and be present. From her post:

Happiness is a choice is more than a line on a tshirt. It’s just this one life we get. There isn’t a day in it that ever gets experienced in exactly the same way. We must remember to do what we hope, to stay true to aiming for the life that we want, the love, the memories whatever it is.

It is our choice.

It is our price to pay if we don’t.

Who is trying to sing to you right now?

Whose arms did you wiggle out of to do the dishes?

Go listen, kiss and live.

It’s just this one time, make it count.

——–

The boys, Matthew especially, have been very interested all of a sudden in playing games – board games and card games.  I’m not sure where the enthusiasm came from, but I have to say that we’ve been playing a lot as a family and, well…

don’t tell, but…

it’s kind of fun.

In general I’m not much of a game person, but my son learning to play UNO has been hilarious and fun.  I have fond memories of playing UNO for hours at family gatherings at my dad’s house, lots of laughter and silly revenge with those colored cards; trying desperately to catch someone not saying UNO so they would have to draw more cards.  The four of us sat on the floor next to the Christmas tree and played last night and it was so fun and right.

We don’t do a lot of things as a whole family, and until we started playing Candy Land and (the dreaded) Chutes and Ladders, as well as any card game Matt can find, I didn’t really realize how little we did together.  There’s always something going on.  Dishes, laundry, cleaning, paying bills, facebook, twitter, blogging, editing pictures, video games, grocery shopping, dinner…well, you know, the list goes on and on.  We tend to tag team the boys so we can both get our own things done. Instead of being a beneficial thing, I think we may be doing ourselves and the boys a disservice.

But us taking the time? All 4 of us sitting around and playing? Well, it’s nice. And fun. And, it occurs to me, is creating some great memories for our boys to pass down to their own kids one day.

See, I have trouble letting things go (not that you’d be able to tell by the pile of laundry in my hallway or the dishes in the sink); I truly NEED my alone time – it makes me a better mama and wife.  So when I escape into my computer or a book or iPhone, it’s because of me, not the kids or Mike.  I am realizing that being present with them is more and more important as the days and years go on.  That instead of rushing through reading and shushing them to sleep, maybe we could get them to bed earlier so we have time to talk. Instead of saying “in a minute” and meaning in 10 minutes or later, I could really do whatever whenever they ask (uh, within reason, of course!)  My computer isn’t going anywhere; the laundry, unless it grows legs, apparently isn’t going anywhere either.

But my boys and their childhood, and playing Candy Land and UNO and making memories? Those moments are slipping away faster than we realize.

The work and the bills and the laundry can wait…making memories, especially during the holidays, can’t.  It’s time to stop being selfish and listen and be present and live this life that I have been given a second chance at.

Thanks, Amanda.

Tagged as: bloggy friends, life lessons, memories, the boys