Finding

Finding LOLs

Finding Knowledge

Finding sleep

Finding Cool

Finding refreshment

Finding Fuel

Finding innocence

Finding A New Employee

Finding Spring (again)

Finding a break

Finding the cat climbing the screen

Finding my heart

Finding growth

Finding unconditional love

Finding a new groove

Finding skills

Finding friends

Matt had the day off school today and we had lots to do.

We laughed. We giggled. We screamed and yelled and told stupid jokes and counted cars. We tickled, we hugged, we ate. We high-fived and ran and shopped. From 7:30am to about 3:00pm, it was an absolutely perfect day. During that time, we had one slight 10 minute period in which both boys were getting tired, hungry and a little cranky, but other than that, my boys were perfectly awesome. Perfect. Awesome.

Then later, life interfered, as it is apt to do with two little boys who didn’t get enough sleep the night before and who’d been going full force all day.

We got home and they wanted to play outside. But then they didn’t and then the whining started. OH how the whining started. I began to feel the pinch of an under appreciated mama, right in mah heart. I gave them every single they asked for today and they couldn’t give me the rest of our perfect day without whining and fussing and ending our afternoon with my getting mad and frustrated.

And I KNOW they’re little. And I KNOW they were getting tired and that whining is part of the game, but that didn’t stop me from being irrationally and ridiculously disappointed!

We had a couple rebounds into happy go-lucky kids, but they were definitely finishing the day on a short fuse. (me too). Preston didn’t want to come inside after playing with the neighbors after dinner and he was a sobbing, wailing mess. I finally got him to come upstairs and cuddle with me and watch tv for awhile. Lately he’s been pushing me away – not wanting me to soothe him, even with simple words, and it hurts my feelings something fierce. He’s always been my cuddler, my sweet little man, and when he grunts and turns away from me, it stabs me right in the heart. So it was nice to be able to soothe him and hug him for a few minutes.

They rebounded nicely to take a shower – laughing, playing, all of us giggling again. And then, OF COURSE, Matt fell getting out of the shower – cue massive breakdown on both our parts, until my tears nearly joined his.

But then, as the rollercoaster of the previous few hours finally coasted into the station, leveling out, it was all good again.

A lot of times, reading to Matt is frustrating to me. I want it to be enjoyable for both of us, but he tends to be a little fidgety while reading and then screws around when I’m done; messing up his covers, yelling for me for stupid things a hundred times, until I’m just plain pissed and don’t want to even hear his voice anymore. BUT, the last couple of times I’ve read to him, I’ve climbed into bed with him. Tonight it was particularly effective – for both of us. I’m honestly not sure why I didn’t think of it sooner.

Tonight we read new books….giggled together over Olivia, discussed what it would be like to visit space and laughed our butts off over a little girl in a book I grabbed on a whim calling her dog Floormop. He was still snickering when I left the room. Exactly the right way to finish a nearly perfect day.