The Big C

October 1, 2008 · 9 comments

Since I can’t say it out loud for risk of karmic retribution, let me just say here: WHAT THE HELL ELSE CAN GO WRONG THIS YEAR?!

Seriously, a year that starts out with a brain tumor, 2 absurd deaths, a bunch more unexpected deaths, a crappy economy, an extended medical leave and now this???  Come on.  Please. {That’s not to say that good things haven’t happened, but some days the bad are a little like a dark cloud hanging above my head}.

My dad has prostate cancer.

It’s small, but aggressive, so they will be scheduling surgery in the early part of November to remove it.  If they can get it all with no problems and his PSA levels remain at 0, then he won’t need any chemo or radiation.

My uncle (his brother) had the same problem not too long ago.  He’s fine.

I fully expect my dad to be fine.  My brother and I (and my mom) all think that he’s going to outlive us all (longevity tends to run in the family).  So I’m not really worried.

But still.  There’s the possibility that it could be bad; worse than they think, more aggressive.  It’s possible he could need radiation afterward.  It’s possible, you know?

My dad and I get along better now than we ever have in my entire life.  It’s a combination of a lot of things, but mostly, when we were little, he didn’t really know what to do with us kids and his bitterness toward my mother (still very much there, FYI) after their divorce probably got in the way a bit.  Not to say he didn’t try, but although I always felt loved, I’ve not often thought he really likes me much.  I’ve always been too sarcastic, too opinionated, too stubborn, too vocal for him.  I’ve never really been able to live up to his ideal of who I should be, and I certainly don’t (didn’t) do things the way he did or thinks they should be done.

His “I Love You”s come few and far between and are not smooth like those I give to my own kids.  But at least I get them.  He’s good with my kids.  Sometimes he’s more judgmental than I think he should be, about a lot of things, and he’s certainly old fashioned in a lot of ways.

But he’s my dad.

And he has cancer.

And I’d totally be lying if I said I wasn’t just a little worried.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

jen October 1, 2008 at 12:32 pm

oh honey. i’m so sorry.

jens last blog’s oh so quiet


catnip October 1, 2008 at 1:01 pm

I’m so sorry to hear this. I understand about the worry. My father has cancer too – lymphoma. Sending my best thoughts for a good prognosis.

catnips last blog post..tortilla soup


alejna October 1, 2008 at 2:11 pm

Oh no. I’m so sorry. What a shock. I wish him strength. And you.

What a year. I hope these next few months pass quickly and bring you a better 2009.

alejnas last blog post..the sound of two hands typing


Amy October 1, 2008 at 2:16 pm

Sorry to hear about your dad’d diaganosis. I will say prayers for an easy treatment. I feel for you; my mom has colo-rectal cancer that can be treated but not cured…they gave her a survival rate of 6 months and it has been over 2 years now. Hang in there!


J.J. October 1, 2008 at 7:08 pm

Well, that completely sucks. What a year, eh?


Shine October 1, 2008 at 7:47 pm

Like the saying goes…”When it rains, it pours” I guess. The best thing you can do is stay positive. I hope all goes smoothly and please know that I am here for you! We both have had complicated relationships with our dads so ANY TIME, ANY PLACE, ANY WHERE, just call and SERIOUSLY, I WILL BE THERE!!


Tabatha October 1, 2008 at 9:45 pm

Dawn, I am so sorry. I will pray for your Dad as well as the rest of your family. I agree with Shine, stay positive. Keep faith. I know in times like this it is hard, BUT, please know that GOD is the ultimate physician! Hugs to you…

Tabathas last blog post..WOW!


liv October 3, 2008 at 1:27 pm

and this is why i feel terrible when i think i’m too busy to read blogs. sending love and prayers to you. xoxo and please, please email or DM me if i can help you.

livs last blog post..notes on romance…


maggie, dammit October 3, 2008 at 8:15 pm

Oh, hon, I am SO sorry. Why does the world like to come crashing down like this? I’m just so sorry for what you’re going through.

maggie, dammits last blog post..Obama or McCain? I need your help. — *UPDATED*


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