September 21, 2008 · 2 comments

My husband is a good man.  He is loving and kind. He has a quick sense of humor and he always says thank you. <inside joke, sorry>.  He will do pretty much anything for you if you ask.  (unless it’s home improvement related…he just really doesn’t get into it much).  He likes to be at home; he likes to be with his family; he’s a fantastic father.  He’s done well for himself – was very involved in sports, even going so far as coaching at the high school he graduated from; he got training and got himself a good job as well as a fair number of college credits, all on his own.  He was raised with lots of family around, including an older sister, and a number of years later, a younger one. His best friend growing up was his cousin and to this day, they can pick up a conversation as if they never stopped talking – whether it’s in person or on the phone, whether days, weeks or months between.  He’s never been a tremendously publicly affectionate person; nor is anyone in his family (well, except his niece, but she is truly an anomaly).  That is not to say he does not love truly and deeply, but rather that he doesn’t not shower it upon people in that flower-child, free flowing manner.

He would never deny his family anything.  He is not talkative unless you get him going on something he is passionate about, like his beloved-hated Tigers or Lions.  He chats freely with people he is comfortable with and has something in common with, only opening his mouth to add something to a conversation if he feels it is of value.  Otherwise, he is fairly introspective. Always has been.

All this to say that tonight he received a phone call from his younger sister and was accused of never talking to her, and later, of sometimes acting superior (though not by her). And we were both flabbergasted.

My husband is many things, but superior is certainly not one of them.  He is worldly-wise, has a tremendous amount of common sense, is smart and educated about a lot of things.  Does this make him superior? Only if it makes you feel inferior.  Superiority is merely the reflection of someone’s inferiority complex, in my opinion.

His younger sister, who, by the way, we saw this afternoon and spoke to, has had some issues in the past that I am certainly not going to go into here (not my story to tell).  She went through a rough patch a few weeks ago, and when he saw her today, my husband very specifically and sincerely asked if she was doing alright and if everything was ok.  She said yes.

Neither of us are extraordinarily close to our siblings.  There is much love, but they are not the people we hang out with outside of family gatherings. We just weren’t raised that way, to be honest.  And the age difference between him and his sister and me and my brother is fairly expansive; though it matters less and less as the years go on.  Either way, hanging out together on the weekends just isn’t something we’ve ever really done.

Mike was hurt by his sister tonight.  He was hurt by his mom.  And I’m hurt for him.  He doesn’t deserve to made to feel guilty or wrong in any way. No he doesn’t call his sister, but she doesn’t call him, either.  They just don’t have a whole lot in common at this point in their lives. No, we’ve never been to her house, but I can’t remember the last time we were invited.  It’s just one of those things.

Had he not been drinking tonight, she would have found him on her doorstep not long after she hung up on him.

Tomorrow he will call her or go to her house and talk to her.  He will clear up any issues, perceived or real, and life for them will move on.  As far as what his mom said, well, that will probably be chalked up to one more thing…


{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

flutter September 21, 2008 at 2:42 am

Your husband is an EXCELLENT guy. I feel qualified to say that ;p I hate when good people have to deal with such crap

flutters last blog post..Quiet places


Shine September 21, 2008 at 10:43 pm

WTF?? I so couldn’t think of any reason your hubby would deserve the accusation- he is grounded, laid-back, and so NOT the epitome of superior. I agree with your statement about the inferiority complex, I have run into that before too. Siblings can be tough to deal with, especially when they come out of left field like that. I hope it can be resolved as a simple misunderstanding, but my experience has shown me that most people have their own version of reality and sometimes that can’t be reconciled. Sorry he has to deal with it, family can be crap sometimes, let him know I’m thinking of him!


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