(sorta) glad that’s over!

February 4, 2008 · 12 comments

What a weekend. Emotional. Exhausting.

My aunt’s visitation was on Friday. It was the first time I saw my uncle and cousins since my aunt passed away. That was horrible. They were barely holding it together and I can’t imagine what they are going through. My grandma, who suffers from dementia bordering on Alzheimer’s, alternately seemed to understand that her daughter was gone, and then, not so much. She kept asking where her husband was (who has been gone for years) and then saying that she couldn’t believe her daughter was “in that box up there”. Oof.

Saturday was the memorial service. It was BRUTAL. Both boys got up and talked about their mom, which was bad enough, but then my uncle got up to speak and that was worse. My aunt and uncle have always been very lovey-dovey and sweet around each other, even after 38 years. I’ve always admired their squishy, flirty love…as the kid of divorced parents, that was pretty impossible for me to imagine, let alone witness…they were so very cute together. So when he talked about how they used to dance together in the living room every Friday night when the boys were little, and then played the song that they danced to, I had a hard time holding back the tears. He stood up there looking so lost and alone; like a little kid who had lost his best friend. Only it was worse, because he’s an adult and he lost his best friend and soulmate.

After the memorial service (which, for the record, ended so abruptly that I almost felt like we missed something), there was a celebration of my aunt’s life at their Country Club. SWANKY! It reminded us all of a wedding reception, but without the pure joy and craziness that goes with two people joining their lives together. It was, however, a nice opportunity to catch up with relatives we see rarely and to share memories of my aunt. She was well-loved, that is for certain. And even though a few of us didn’t know the woman that was described in eulogy, I believe she probably was exactly as they described, and it made me that much sadder to know that I never knew that side of her.

On the other side of the coin of the crappy, emotional part of the weekend was the complete joy and amusement we experienced with my cousins.

Friday started with lunch out with M, N, and C – a nice time to chat and be silly. After the visitation, we grabbed my brother and his wife and went out to dinner. The adventure started with the finding of the restaurant – we just drove until we found something, which got progressively panic-driven since we had a starving pregnant woman with us! We finally ended up at J.Alexander and it was fabulous! The service was wonderful, the food and drinks superb. And the company? Perfect.  We finished it off with a trip to Coldstone Creamery – YUM!

It was so nice to spend time with my cousins, and with my brother and his wife. I wish that we all lived closer (uh, same state, anyone?!), because we laughed so hard that my abs ached. And seriously, I think I laughed more this past weekend than I have in awhile, even given the circumstances.

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Loralee February 4, 2008 at 5:21 pm

I am so very sorry about the passing of your aunt. I lost two of mine this summer and it is OH, so difficult.

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flutter February 4, 2008 at 5:27 pm

((you))

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liv February 4, 2008 at 5:37 pm

hang in there, hon!

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Loralee February 4, 2008 at 11:21 pm

I am so very sorry about the passing of your aunt. I lost two of mine this summer and it is OH, so difficult.

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flutter February 4, 2008 at 11:27 pm

((you))

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liv February 4, 2008 at 11:37 pm

hang in there, hon!

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alejna February 5, 2008 at 3:44 am

What an emotional trip you had. Your poor uncle. The thought of him standing there alone, listening to that song choked me up. It\'s so hard to see people in pain.

I\'m glad you got to have that more joyful time with your cousins, brother and sister-in-law. It reminded me a bit of the time I spent with my aunt, uncles and cousins after my grandmother\'s funeral. We got to know each other better, and I was surprised by how much fun we had together, especially reminiscing about my grandmother.

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alejna February 5, 2008 at 9:44 am

What an emotional trip you had. Your poor uncle. The thought of him standing there alone, listening to that song choked me up. It’s so hard to see people in pain.

I’m glad you got to have that more joyful time with your cousins, brother and sister-in-law. It reminded me a bit of the time I spent with my aunt, uncles and cousins after my grandmother’s funeral. We got to know each other better, and I was surprised by how much fun we had together, especially reminiscing about my grandmother.

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Michelle February 5, 2008 at 1:52 pm

I am so sorry I haven\'t been in touch! I had such a wonderful time being with you, loved being in your home and can\'t stop talking about your sweet boys and THE NEW BABY CLOTHES!! and yet I\'ve been so drained, so slapped in the face with the reality of being that exhausted emotionally but caring for my two sweet girls that I\'ve come down with a cold of my own!! Big surprise. But like you I truly value the time with you and want you to move to NH RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

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Michelle February 5, 2008 at 7:52 pm

I am so sorry I haven’t been in touch! I had such a wonderful time being with you, loved being in your home and can’t stop talking about your sweet boys and THE NEW BABY CLOTHES!! and yet I’ve been so drained, so slapped in the face with the reality of being that exhausted emotionally but caring for my two sweet girls that I’ve come down with a cold of my own!! Big surprise. But like you I truly value the time with you and want you to move to NH RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

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Shine February 6, 2008 at 3:50 am

What a weekend, an emotional whirlwind I\'m sure. Events like these either bring out the best or worst in a family and it sounds like as sad as it was, it was a positive experience. You have a good family in your cousins!

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Shine February 6, 2008 at 9:50 am

What a weekend, an emotional whirlwind I’m sure. Events like these either bring out the best or worst in a family and it sounds like as sad as it was, it was a positive experience. You have a good family in your cousins!

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