With apologies to Mr. Moore

December 23, 2007 · 3 comments

Twas the night before the night before the night before Christmas
When all through the house
The only creature stirring was mama,
Who wanted to get soused

The clothes were all hung in the closet with care
In hopes that the laundry fairy soon would be there

The boys and the husband were nestled in beds
While visions of who knows what (probably butts)
Danced in their heads

With mama in her comfy cozy clothes
And the dishes all done,
It was time to relax and have some fun

When down in the kitchen, the dog made a noise
Probably destroying ‘nother one of her toys
Mama stayed on her ass, rolling her eyes
While dreading the unavoidable little boy cries

The twinkling lights on the deck down below
Gave proof to the fear of all-melted snow
When what to her wondering head should occur
That no presents had yet been wrapped
It was all up to her

More rapid than heartburn her list did come
As she listed the names in her head one by one
Two moms and three dads and a stepmonster too,
The boys and the neighbors and a niece and nephew
Two cats and two dogs, the husband and more
She glanced at her man as he continued to snore

And then in a moment, she tried not to laugh
At the silly SNL skits from many years past
She spoke not a word, as she giggled inside
And knew those presents would soon be wrapped with pride

So she made a mental list for the morning to come
Turned off the tv with a flick of her thumb
The house was all dark and quiet so late
As she wondered where was that damn Santa cookie plate
But I heard her sigh deep
As she lay down in bed
Wow this feels good, so comfy and nice
I sure hope those boys can sleep all night

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

liv December 22, 2007 at 11:57 pm

lurve you, girl. (privately wondering what you were drinking…)


liv December 23, 2007 at 6:57 am

lurve you, girl. (privately wondering what you were drinking…)


Shine December 23, 2007 at 4:59 pm

You are so awesome my amazingly funny friend! Just finished my wrapping today- hope you get yours done too! If all else fails- GIFT BAGS!!! Merry Merry to you dear lady!


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