Two for Tuesday

November 6, 2007 · 4 comments

Two things I ate today:

  1. egg & cheese breakfast sandwich
  2. pizza made at home

Two things I said today:

  1.  Hurry! Get on the train before it leaves the station! (Hey, you have a better way to get my boys back in the crazy cart, you let me know!)  🙂
  2. CARIBOU!!!!  (The annual continuous watching of Polar Express has begun)

Two things I did today:

  1. Talked my dad into buying an iMac
  2. Started the new JD Robb book

Two things I heard today:

  1.  Your boys are SO cute.
  2. Aw…they are so sweet.  Look at them!

Two more things I heard today:

  1. Wow! When did Matt start trying to sound out words? It’s like he’s trying to read! [Thank you Leapfrog DVDs].
  2. NOT YET! [Preston’s new response to pretty much everything. Cracks me up every time]

Other things that happened in twos today:

  • I made 2 appointments
  • I did 2 loads of laundry
  • I drank 2 cokes
  •  I cleaned the family room twice
  • I bored myself twice as much as usual with this blog.

~~~~~~~~~~~

My dad and I don’t really talk.  Not about anything of substance anyway. He’s actually a pretty quiet guy and has always been..um….stingy? frugal?….with his affections.  I’ve spent my whole life trying to please him, for the same reason every little girl tries to please her daddy.  Attention, love, affection, approval.  My dad has spoken his approval of certain things over the years, but those times have been few and far between.  When I worked for him, he would spend the time to write each of his employees, including me, a lovely note at Christmas time, saying how much we were appreciated.  Those notes meant so much to me, it was ridiculous.

Obviously, he has faith and trust in me or he wouldn’t have sold his practice to me (though I know he second-guesses me a lot, but that has more to do with giving up his life’s work than me, I think.).   I will never please him when it comes to money – I’m a spender; he is, to say the least, the very opposite. I try to avoid all discussions of anything money related; just talking about money makes me feel guilty.  I am, most certainly, my mother’s daughter, to my father’s dismay. 😉

Today he was over playing with the boys and saw me working on my computer.  I mentioned that he should have a Mac computer – so user friendly, and so perfect for the digital photography he is finally getting in to.  15 minutes later, I basically had him sold on a 24″ iMac.  It’s odd – when I’m talking to him about something I know, I am confident and sure and I don’t over-talk myself.  As soon as we talk about anything that he might possibly know more about than me, or that he might have an opinion or a grudge about, I can’t stop talking.  I keep talking until I get some sort of response from him that justifies me.  I used to explain every gift I ever gave him – the thought that went into it, the why, the how.  Ridiculous.  It wasn’t long after I had to explain a poem I wrote for him that I realized my memories weren’t the same as his, and that no matter how much I explained or talked, he wasn’t going to be the loving, joking, relaxed father I always wanted.  I wanted Bill Cosby.  I got Ward Cleaver.

I am thankful he makes the effort to play with the boys.  I could never leave them with him – he’s never once changed a diaper, gotten them juice or fed them.  But at least he plays with them.  He holds absurd grudges, has antiquated opinions about a lot of things,  is frugal beyond belief and struggles to say the words.  But he’s my dad.  He’s a pain in the ass, but so am I.  We don’t have a lot in common, but at least we can talk about the weather and cameras and my boys. Perhaps the day will come when I don’t roll my eyes when he calls at the last minute to come over, or when he talks about weight and exercise, or acts like the business is still his own.  Perhaps.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

liv November 6, 2007 at 4:47 pm

I love that you wrote about your relationship in a way that feels so true. My Dad and I are very much alike. Now that we live far apart I feel like we appreciate each other more.

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liv November 6, 2007 at 11:47 pm

I love that you wrote about your relationship in a way that feels so true. My Dad and I are very much alike. Now that we live far apart I feel like we appreciate each other more.

Reply

Tabitha November 9, 2007 at 3:02 pm

we still get those \"growing pains\" with our parents…even when we are adults.

i agree with liv – that it is good to get it out & to keep a healthy perspective.

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Tabitha November 9, 2007 at 10:02 pm

we still get those “growing pains” with our parents…even when we are adults.

i agree with liv – that it is good to get it out & to keep a healthy perspective.

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