I need a hooker!

May 26, 2007 · 8 comments

Such interesting conversations we have in my house.  Matt comes up to me with a car earlier tonight and says “Mom, I need a hooker for my red car”. Now of course, I have to keep myself from laughing hysterically.  Nothing like a nearly 4 year old saying he needs a hooker for a good giggle.  :D  Anyway, I spend a few minutes trying to figure out what the heck he actually needs.  What do you need?”  See, the problem is that he calls clothes hangers ‘hookers’ and he calls the end of the magnetic fishing rod a ‘hooker’ and sometimes, other things fit the bill as well. But these were not what he was referring to.  The whining was close to starting when he mentioned the garage.  I finally said “Ok, let’s go to the garage and you can show me!”  So we trooped out there and he walked right up to one of the shelves and said “Those hookers!” He grabs for a bungee cord with the hooks at the end.  😆

So Matt got his hooker and I got a good laugh.

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That was earlier.

Now the boys are both in bed and Mike is out with the guys and I’m trying to figure out how to be a better mama.  See, I do really well, but Matt and I have the same temper (yes, I am admitting it.  He is stubborn and has a temper – and seriously, he is my kid.). He pushes my buttons like…well…only a 3.5 year old can. Only my 3.5 year old can.  He’s totally testing his boundaries lately and I’m starting to get really really frustrated with him and I find myself yelling and raising my voice and I don’t want to be.

Example one: We’re playing on the computer, the boys are laughing and being super silly and we’re all laughing. Suddenly, Matt decides he wants to spit. So, I firmly say “Matt, DO NOT SPIT or you will get a time out”. So what does he do?  Spits in my face!!!!  So, I pick him up and take him to his time-out chair.  The problem?  I am so freaking angry and upset with him that I don’t stop talking about it or yelling, really.

But I know better.  Super Nanny Jo would call me out on that instantly and the 1-2-3 Magic book would second it.  But I don’t know how to stop.  I need to learn to keep my mouth shut.  I don’t know.  He acts so damn big sometimes that I think I can reason with him like he’s just a little adult. He’s not.  He’s not even 4 yet.  I know that this is the age where they really test their limits and I totally feel like I am failing the test.  He’s a good kid; they both are.  I truly try to keep their ages in mind and I really do let them do a lot of things some parents wouldn’t.  I just can’t figure out how to effectively keep him (them) from doing things I don’t want them to.  Ergo, the 1-2-3 book being pulled from the shelf and re-read this evening.  We’ve got to find some consistency before things get out of control.

Shine mentioned a kid splashing her and that her son wouldn’t do it because she told him not to. When I tell Matt not to splash, I have to tell him 3 times before he stops.  I guess this is where the 1-2-3 Magic comes in.

Example #2 – We’re sitting on the chair together, talking after his time out. He cheers up and so do I. Then he puts his hands on my face.  I gently remove them and say “Please don’t”.  His hands go back to my face instantly. I remove them again and give him a warning. He puts his hand back over my mouth. One more time and it’s a time out, I warn.  So he does it AGAIN.  Time out.  He’s screaming and crying (and I think to myself DUH, JUST STOP!!).  And then I have to fight him to stay in his time out.  I had to walk away and get pjs for them, I was so frustrated!

I know he was tired.  I know. But I’m tired too.  And I don’t get to cry and whine and hit and spit and throw things when I get tired!!!

So I’m going to try. TRY. Really hard to do the counting without saying too much at all.  Just count. No long explanations. No trying to make him understand why I’m disappointed or frustrated.  Just simple counting and discipline.  Simple.  Right.

The ups and downs of Matt’s moods and actions during the day is exhausting.  And it makes me want to spend less time with him and more with Preston, who is so silly and starting to talk all the time now.  And of course, that all makes me feel horribly guilty.  It’s like we have so much fun when he’s being silly and happy and then something sets him off (tired, needs to eat) or he has to push his limits and it’s like a frustration tornado coming through.

It was a busy day, but is that really an excuse for poor behavior?  Especially when some days aren’t so busy and the poor behavior is still there?  <sigh>  Today was good – we got more stuff for Matt’s room (we’re making it into a baseball/sports theme) and he’s been excited and helpful.  I even stopped cleaning the house (!) to play hide and seek!  I need to realize that his behavior is typical for his age group and that it’s not a reflection of how cool I am otherwise.  😉

Anyway…. <end mama self-pity party>

We’re I’m redoing both boys bedrooms.  Matt’s is going from Vintage Firefighter to Sports with an emphasis on baseball.  It’s pretty random, but I think once I get the stuff on his walls it will look pretty put together.  I hope.  Preston’s is going from a really simple baby farm animal theme to Transportation! Cars, trains, trucks and planes.  Unfortunately, the bedding stuff I have my heart set on now is not available ANYWHERE in a store, only online.  Even stores that are local (Kohls, Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, Linens & Things) that sell it online don’t carry it in their stores!!  There should be a law – if you only carry it online, mark that on the web page about the item!!! It’s not that hard and it would save a lot of aggravation for people like me who want it today.

See, I just decided that since this holiday weekend is open for us that it would be a perfect opportunity to get their rooms done.  And if you know me at all, you know that when I want something, I want it now.  So, I’m a little disappointed that I can’t get the bedding and such, but I did find a way cool thing on the mfg. website that gives the Behr colors / numbers that are coordinating to the bedding they sell.  How cool is that?  So I should be able to paint this weekend and just add the other stuff in when it gets here.  🙂

Of course, all of that is dependent on my man, who is currently (12:43am) out drinking with his buddies (it’s the last friday of the month) and is going to pick up his new car tomorrow afternoon.  And we’re going to the Tiger game on Sunday night.  We’ll see.

I guess that’s it for me.  I’m going to finish this episode of What Not To Wear – Family version – and then read my non-duplicated gossip mags.  :)  I generally can’t sleep when he’s out with the guys, so I’ll doze in and out until either he calls or I hear the garage door open.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

<![CDATA[Shine]]& May 26, 2007 at 2:30 am

LOLROFLMAO!!! Hooker, that is hilarious! With regards to behavior issues, I had some with B too (and still do!!), but rememeber he is a year older, there is quite a bit of maturity that happens in that year. As for the other kid that splashed me, he\'s 9 and should definitely know better!!! Last year I remember screaming so much at him I picked up the book \"Scream Free Parenting\"- though it\'s still sitting on my shelf- which tells me, it\'s just a phase. Remember, This Too Shall Pass 🙂

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<![CDATA[jen]]&gt May 26, 2007 at 3:37 am

it\'s amazing, isn\'t it…how they reach into our shadows and pull them out and shake them. you are a good mom, friend. always.

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May 26, 2007 at 9:30 am

LOLROFLMAO!!! Hooker, that is hilarious!

With regards to behavior issues, I had some with B too (and still do!!), but rememeber he is a year older, there is quite a bit of maturity that happens in that year. As for the other kid that splashed me, he’s 9 and should definitely know better!!!

Last year I remember screaming so much at him I picked up the book “Scream Free Parenting”- though it’s still sitting on my shelf- which tells me, it’s just a phase. Remember, This Too Shall Pass 🙂

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May 26, 2007 at 10:37 am

it’s amazing, isn’t it…how they reach into our shadows and pull them out and shake them.

you are a good mom, friend. always.

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<![CDATA[flutterc May 26, 2007 at 9:27 pm

You don\'t have to try to be a good mom, you just are.

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May 27, 2007 at 4:27 am

You don’t have to try to be a good mom, you just are.

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<![CDATA[patty h] May 27, 2007 at 3:20 am

This is soooo totally a phase. I can recall yelling at Hannah at the top of my lungs sometimes and I would have to go hide in the other room because I wanted to grab her and shake her while saying \"what is wrong with you – don\'t you understand\". Now I just wonder if she can remember Mommy yelling at her and being super frustrated. I do believe this was between the ages of 3 and 5. And Chris was gone a lot so I felt like a horrible mother. Now I look back and realize the phase passed and although she talks too much and rarely listens to me the first time around at the ripe age of 8, I know that something is different and I can deal with her with much more ease and patience. Hang in there!

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May 27, 2007 at 10:20 am

This is soooo totally a phase. I can recall yelling at Hannah at the top of my lungs sometimes and I would have to go hide in the other room because I wanted to grab her and shake her while saying “what is wrong with you – don’t you understand”. Now I just wonder if she can remember Mommy yelling at her and being super frustrated. I do believe this was between the ages of 3 and 5. And Chris was gone a lot so I felt like a horrible mother. Now I look back and realize the phase passed and although she talks too much and rarely listens to me the first time around at the ripe age of 8, I know that something is different and I can deal with her with much more ease and patience. Hang in there!

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