On Being That Mom (*edited!)

May 10, 2007 · 10 comments

In honor of the upcoming Mother’s Day “Holiday” (yes, I put quotes around holiday. Seriously, it’s defined as a day of festivity or recreation when no work is done. Please. We’re moms, there is NEVER a day when we aren’t doing mama work).

Anyway, I was in bed last night, curled up next to my son and hubby (in that order) and I was thinking about being a mom. Perhaps it’s the ‘holiday’, perhaps it was my poor parenting earlier in the day. Don’t suppose it really matters… (though I should have either gotten out of bed and blogged or at least made some notes, because my blog was WAY better last night in my head!!) I was thinking about how I’ve changed and the things I’ve done that I said I never would and the things I never even knew I would want to. I was adamant before kids that I would never be that mom. You know, the one that did the things you thought were wrong or horrible or strange in some way? Come on, we all know one, even if it was from our own childhood years.

I was never going to

  • Let myself go – why wouldn’t I have time to exercise and be healthy? HA! πŸ™‚
  • Let my kids control our lives – when, where, what – food, entertainment, etc. (It’s ok, I’m cracking up, too πŸ˜€ )
  • Not have a fantastic bedtime routine – bath, teeth, books, happy bedtime. Oops.
  • Ever let my kids sleep with us πŸ˜†
  • Give up doing the things I wanted when I wanted
  • Grab my kid by the arm and take him away from something
  • Stay at home
  • Dance and sing and act stupid for my kids (Well, I DO and I LOVE IT!)

Instead, I’ve done all those things and more. But, I am a good mama. I let my boys learn and live and laugh. I’ve given up on a lack of potty and body part humor. They are boys. I give up (and, honestly, it’s funny most of the time). I let them do things my mother never would have, mostly because I don’t see any reason not to. And I’ve certainly changed as a person since I had my boys. I’m a bit more easy going (ok, so I still what I want, when I want it, but I’m better!), I laugh a lot more, I savor my alone time because I don’t get it that often, I’m more sensitive – especially to the horrors of the world (heck, I don’t even like scary movies anymore!), I cry easier and my heart breaks easier these days.

And I realized, mostly through this blog world, that it’s ok that I’m human. Even in my Supermom! persona I get frustrated and annoyed and angry and lose my temper and search desperately for patience. But I am a good mom. I love my boys. Sure, I give them time to figure things out on their own (sounds better than letting them scream while I take a 2 minute shower, doesn’t it? πŸ˜€ ), and yes, especially since I had P. I ignore things more (“oh, you’re fine!” is a popular phrase in my house), and I am certain I say things I shouldn’t to and in front of my boys. But at the end of the day, I love them with all my heart and wouldn’t trade being a mama for anything.

Speaking of moms, I was thinking about things I learned from mine.

  • Shopping is perfect therapy for any problem
  • You don’t have to stay in a bad marriage. * my mom has been married 4 times!!!!!  THIS MEANS I WILL STAY MARRIED FOR-EV-ERRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Nobody puts Baby in a corner! No one hurts her kids, verbally or physically, while she’s around
  • If you are passive-aggressive, you’ll generally get your way (LOL – I’ve learned this since she’s gotten older)
  • Change is good * we moved a bunch AND my mom has had like 50 different jobs – all professional and very successful. She is where I get my love of change from, but family stays THE SAME!!  :mrgreen:

And from her mom, my favorite grandma, I learned that even when you’re bent over from osteoporosis and recovering from heart surgery, that a raise of a perfectly drawn eyebrow will get you nearly anything you need. Well, that and a fantastically loud laugh. And the best gum has always been Wrigley’s Spearmint Gum. And that if you put your mind to it, you can do pretty much anything. My grandma got her driver’s license in her 70s (never needed one before that). She went to work and lived in an apartment on her own after my grandpa died. She could have given up and lived with my mom or uncle, but she didn’t. She lost her husband but gained an entirely new life. Strong woman, that one. I only wish I had been older before she died – I would have liked to have known more about her as a woman and a mother. As it was, she was a wonderful grandma and it’s not often that I don’t miss her madly. She would SO adore my boys. πŸ™‚

I hear my wee ones stirring now, so I guess I’d better get them going before Molly gets here. Today is a work/babysitter day, but I am totally playing hooky and going to the Great Lakes Mega Meet scrapbooking thing. And the Scholastic Book Warehouse Sale. Alone. No kids. Just me. Because to be the good mama I am, I need to get away from everyone sometimes. πŸ˜€

WOOT!

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

<![CDATA[phenom]] May 10, 2007 at 3:57 am

SHE\'S KICKING ME TO THE CURB!!!! CALL THE LAWYERS! CALL THE DOCTOR!! CALL umm… OTJ, CUZ SHE\'S OVER-THE-TOP HILARIOUS!!!! hehe

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<![CDATA[Her Bad May 10, 2007 at 5:56 am

Getting away from being mama is sometimes the very best thing a mama can do to help herself be the best mama she can be.

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<![CDATA[me]]> May 10, 2007 at 6:32 am

Edits coming!!! Hehe

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May 10, 2007 at 10:57 am

SHE’S KICKING ME TO THE CURB!!!! CALL THE LAWYERS! CALL THE DOCTOR!! CALL umm… OTJ, CUZ SHE’S OVER-THE-TOP HILARIOUS!!!!

hehe

Reply

<![CDATA[pgoodnes May 10, 2007 at 8:45 am

Edits to things I learned from my mom..DONE! LOL, my love. (BTW, I got a concerned phone call from my love while I was shopping thinking I was sad and seeking changes – NOPE, sorry for the miscomm. there!)

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<![CDATA[Oh, The May 10, 2007 at 9:31 am

Happy Mother\'s Day!

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May 10, 2007 at 12:56 pm

Getting away from being mama is sometimes the very best thing a mama can do to help herself be the best mama she can be.

Reply

May 10, 2007 at 1:32 pm

Edits coming!!! Hehe

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May 10, 2007 at 3:45 pm

Edits to things I learned from my mom..DONE! LOL, my love. (BTW, I got a concerned phone call from my love while I was shopping thinking I was sad and seeking changes – NOPE, sorry for the miscomm. there!)

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May 10, 2007 at 4:31 pm

Happy Mother’s Day!

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