Get ready…get set…POTTY TIME!!!!!
We’re taking the plunge and putting underwear on Matt on Friday (once and for all). He knows how to do it, knows how to hold it, knows when he needs to go he just doesn’t want to! So, as advised by many a person in the know, we are no longer giving him a choice. Well, as of Friday…if it goes well….  8O  He’s actually worn underwear a number of times, but then has an accident and wants to go back to diapers, so we’ve let him.
Ah, there’s the true issue. Mama doesn’t know how to NOT give the boy a choice. Mama doesn’t really feel comfortable forcing him to do something just because she’s the mama.
Can you say spoiled?
He’s so smart and sensitive and I just don’t know! It’s not that I want him to be a spoiled brat, it’s just that I think I’ve taken the “choose your battles” thing just a little too far at times. But I do agree with the consensus that he’s 3.5, he doesn’t get a choice about every little thing. In theory. Now I just have to put it in practice.
And now he’s started the WHY phase. He’s asking WHY about everything. And he’s asking WHY about stuff that he’s doing or asking me to do!! For example, he asked me to get him some chocolate milk today, and AS I WAS POURING IT, asked WHY I was pouring it!! Um, how else does it get into the glass???? 🙂 I’m a very sarcastic person, so it’s incredibly hard not to make smart-ass remarks to him!! And I don’t have the greatest patience in the world, so it’s definitely difficult to answer his WHYs seriously and without exasperation sometimes.
But, back to the potty training. I grudgingly agree that he gets his way too much and that it has backfired to some extent. On the other hand, in general, he is a very well-behaved, intelligent, sweet little 3 year old, so I would be remiss to say that we I have ruined him completely at this point. He’s simply used to getting his way. My fault. Totally. See, I’m a pretty laid-back mama about most things.
Jump on the bed? Sure, why not? It’s exercise, tires him out and dammit, it’s fun!
“Cook” with a ton of spices and make a disastrous mess in the kitchen? Sure! That’s why he has his own cooking stuff, cheap 2 for a dollar spices, and why we have a Dustbuster! He mixes, pours, “bakes cake”, makes “steak”, and generally engages imagination and motor skills at the same time. It’s all good (and totally gives my mom a heart attack!).
Running around the house with no pants on when it’s just us at home and no one is coming over? What the heck! Who cares if they’re dressed in the playroom? (Ok, admittedly, this has always been a little hard for me. I’m the kind of person who has to get dressed to feel human. Of course, this has been pushed waaaaayy down on the scale of important daily things since having 2 kids, but I do feel better about myself when I’m dressed.)
Making a tower or fort out of the couch cushions? By all means!
But where I’ve gone wrong is letting him get his way when it comes to leaving the house, going places, and, obviously, potty training. I’ve been known to put off errands as to not incur the wrath of my 3 year old. He’s very wishy-washy and can’t seem to decide sometimes whether he wants to go someplace or not. I see now that I should have nipped that long ago. Now I’m more apt to avoid than deal. Slowly I will work on changing that. It’s entirely possible that he can’t make decisions because he is allowed so many. It’s also entirely possible that sometimes it’s just going to suck to be him if he doesn’t want to go to Target or the office or where ever! Apparently, I am learning, there are things he needs to do just because I say so.
I want him to love me. To like me. I know he does (today he jumped up in my arms and told me “I just love you”). But it’s time for me to be the mama just a little more. I can’t let his crying and screaming overcome the fact that he is 3 and some most decisions need to be made by us. His parents. Not him. <SIGH>
Wife. Mom. Cancer Fighter. Friend. Business Owner. I believe life is short, some things just are what they are, and that there are very few problems that laughter won't solve or at least make better. 
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey Dawn, why dont you, on Friday get rid of his diapers. If none in the house fit him, he cant way \"I want diapers\" thus being easier for you to say \"Nope\" we have all fallen in the cracks of going the \"easier\" route and letting them tell us when they are ready. But if he knows how and all that it is just the simple explanation of laziness on his part that he CAN wear a diaper, therefore, he doesnt HAVE to pee on the potty… So, if no diapers are around, it is harder for him AND Mama to say \"Ok, here, just one more.\" Thats what I had to do with Alexis and her Pacifier, I got rid of ALL of them, and then she couldnt find one and say \"haha\" and I couldnt just reach for it to shut her up! Good Luck….
Hey Dawn, why dont you, on Friday get rid of his diapers. If none in the house fit him, he cant way “I want diapers” thus being easier for you to say “Nope” we have all fallen in the cracks of going the “easier” route and letting them tell us when they are ready. But if he knows how and all that it is just the simple explanation of laziness on his part that he CAN wear a diaper, therefore, he doesnt HAVE to pee on the potty… So, if no diapers are around, it is harder for him AND Mama to say “Ok, here, just one more.” Thats what I had to do with Alexis and her Pacifier, I got rid of ALL of them, and then she couldnt find one and say “haha” and I couldnt just reach for it to shut her up! Good Luck….