So there I was

February 20, 2007 · 0 comments

just about to write a nice, long, eloquent (ha!) blog about my three year old and wondering which one of us needs psychiatric help more, and what the heck am I doing wrong and why can’t he just sleep when he’s tired? And not scream for no real reason. And so on and so forth… And I realized that no one probably knows any more than I do. And that everyone out there who has or has had a three year old going through this phase is going to tell me:

  1. This too shall pass – he won’t be this way forever
  2. He’s three – it’s just how they are
  3. Wait til he’s a teenager!

Or something along those lines. Of course, if someone does have advice other than that listed about please tell me!!!!! Meanwhile, I’m wondering if he’s bored with me at home, if he should go back into daycare, if we don’t do enough, get out enough, relax enough, play enough, eat enough, eat too much, play too much, relax too much….well, you get the point. Doubting myself, my mama skills, my ability to seriously handle my own son. And then I jumped on Her Bad Mother’s blog and hopped on over to the story she was talking about and I just had to stop my self-pity long enough to tell you all about it and make my own comments.

Many women, if the blogs and the media are correct, are surprised and disillusioned when they discover what being a mother is really all about. They fall for the motherhood trend, hook, line and pacifier, and are bewildered when the experience does not live up to their expectations.

Seriously?  There are that many women out there who thought that motherhood was going to be a walk in the park? Disillusioned? Bewildered? Did these people not have parents? No friends with kids? Never seen a family out in public? A child in mid-tantrum in the grocery store? Seriously? I will admit, absolutely, that there are things that are harder than I expected and that some days I am certainly bewildered in regard to my son’s behavior. But not about being a mother. Not about how hard it would be.

So what to do? Well, a good place to start would be to stop treating motherhood as the new black. Perhaps those considering having kids, should be allowed to dream about their new pregnancy wardrobe and wander through the baby stores imagining how darling their little one will look in the fuzzy pink baby Ugg’s playing in the new princess sandbox. And then, they should be asked to spend 48 hours at home doing some repetitive mind numbing task like data entry, with only a couple of minutes per day to either eat, grab a shower, or get dressed. During the first night they will be woken every three hours, but still required to function the next day, performing their mind-numbing task and again with only a few precious minutes to themselves (if that). The second night they will be kept up, with only a few hours here and there to sleep while various wet sticky, smelly substances are thrown at them, in a bid to demonstrate what it might be like to look after a sick baby.

Ok, admittedly, this is kind of funny. And truly, not a horrible idea for some sort of parenting class. But it’s still not perfect.  It doesn’t take into account the emotions involved, the heartbreaking cry of a sick baby and it certainly doesn’t take into account those of us who would give a limb for three hours of sleep in a row!!

Even the stores and the culture promoting the motherhood trend will benefit from offering a more balanced view. An increase in the number of satisfied mothers will, in turn, produce more satisfied, grounded children. This will help to ensure fewer children get involved in gangs, drugs and shooting sprees and instead become functioning members of society, with lots of money to spend on things such as beautiful but unnecessary mother and baby products.

A fantasy? Perhaps. But no more so than the myth of motherhood now being perpetuated. This is not to suggest no one should ever again have children because it is so awful. It is simply trying to point out what should be obvious; you can’t base your decision on having a baby on the same criteria you would use to buy the latest iPod or the cute little outfit you tried on at Sak’s yesterday.

Ok, I’m either delusional or just exhausted, but that flippin funny!!  Satisfied mothers will keep kids from gangs, drugs and all things horrible.  Well, I’ve heard the saying that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world, but controls poverty, racism, bad luck, bad people and unfortunate circumstances, too?Now they’re saying that all gang members, drug users, non-functioning members of society are, in essence, the fault of mothers who didn’t realize that parenting wasn’t the way celebrities make it out to be?!?  Yep, I’m sure that’s right.   :roll: 

Golly gee, I totally got pregnant because it was trendy (yep, that’s me, Mrs Trendy!) and I never, ever had a clue that all those wonderful baby products weren’t going to make my life oh so simple and perfect.   Blech.  Where’s my puke smiley?  So now, not only are women completely clueless and having babies because of marketing tricks, we’ve caused the downfall of society by being “unsatisfied”, AND we’re all idiots?  And this article was written by a woman?  SIGH.  Imagine what we could do if we all worked together instead of so far apart.

ANYWAY, thought it was an interesting article, and HBM always has a great take on things.

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