Not knowing how

I hate not knowing how to fix something. Specifically, today, it was 3 things. First, that stupid letter I’m trying to send at the office. I have the letter written, I know who I want it to go to, I just can’t figure out how to get the data merged together! And none of the help stuff is helpful, and tech support left me on hold for too long, so I wasted nearly all of my work time getting basically nothing done. 🙁 Second, P. doesn’t feel good or is getting a tooth or is just a very cranky child. I can’t fix it. And Third, I’ve finished updating my office website, but I can’t remember my stupid password to get into the control panel so that I can make my contact page work. DAMMIT. So, I’m blogging in hopes it will magically appear in my head so I can consider it really really done.

I went to the gym today for the first time in probably 2 months. Oy, did I get out of shape again fast! The weights I had been lifting mocked me as I chose their weaker friends. But, at least I went, right? Funniest thing ever as I left today? A guy driving into the gym parking lot tweezing his eyebrows! Yes, a guy, and yes, while he was driving! Vain, anyone? Geesh! (Of course, any woman worth her girliness knows all too well that the light in a vehicle is the absolute best for tweezing, but a guy? While driving??) 😀

While I was at the gym, I got on the Stair-climber. In honor of the bravest men I’ve ever heard of, I climbed stairs while watching the 9/11 coverage. Those firemen climbed a hell of a lot more than 20 stories that day and it certainly wasn’t in the air conditioned, quiet comfort of my gym. I’ve said prayers all day to help the families and loved ones of all those affected by that day find some sort of peace and hope in this crazy world. While I will always remember, I wonder, is that enough?

Yesterday I finally finished the task of moving Matt’s old clothes into Preston’s closet and moving all of his too-small stuff to the basement (to be sorted and donated later). As I was sitting on the floor, surrounded by Matt’s clothes that he wore for the past 2 years, I was a little teary. Some of those things I could see him wearing as if it were yesterday! Mike walked in and I said ‘The boys are so big’ and he said, Yeah, I know. And I said ‘NO. The boys are so BIG. 3 and 1? When did that happen?’ And of course, he being who he is, grinned and said ‘It goes by so fast!’ like everyone is always saying. I had to smile. But I was a little sad to see that they’re so grown up already. Don’t get me wrong – I wasn’t longing for a baby or anything like that, I just wanted to hold on to the ones I have a little tighter. <sigh> But, as Matt reminds me he’ll always be my baby! So, I got that goin for me. 🙂

I decided today that I despise The View. All of them. Never really liked the show, but never despised it until one of the chicks today said “I was walking to work and it was a beautiful day and it occurred to me that it was like that 5 years ago, too.” Bullshit. You’ve known the anniversary of 9/11 has been coming up and if you have any brain cells or human genes at all, you’ve seen the pictures of the gorgeous day in your head, on tv and on your desk for at least the past week!! UGH. Look, bimbos, leave the news to the people who know what they’re doing. You are idiots. (By the way, it was on in the locker room at the gym, I wasn’t watching, but heard that as I was getting dressed.) And Rosie? Give it up.

😀

I’m gonna go have a bowl of ice cream and read a magazine or cheesy romance novel and call it a day. 😀